The Troubling Trend in Teenage Sex

April 12, 2024

Debby Herbenick is one of the foremost researchers on American sexual behavior. The director of the Center for Sexual Health Promotion at Indiana University and the author of the pointedly titled book “Yes, Your Kid,” she usually shares her data, no matter how explicit, without judgment. So I was surprised by how concerned she seemed when we checked in on Zoom recently: “I haven’t often felt so strongly about getting research out there,” she told me. “But this is lifesaving.”

Puberty Is Starting Earlier—Are Schools Keeping Up?

January 19, 2024

Students are showing signs of physiological development sooner than ever, forcing schools and districts to adapt.

¿Cómo enseñar educación sexual en los colegios? Estos son los consejos de una profesora de Harvard

SEPTEMBER 28, 2023

Shafia Zaloom, profesora adjunta de la Escuela de Educación de Harvard, explica por qué es tan importante abordar la sexualidad en las aulas de clase. Un diálogo sin prejuicios es clave para lograr un impacto positivo en los jóvenes. Estas son sus recomendaciones.

¿Cómo enseñar una sexualidad saludable en los colegios? Estas son las lecciones de Shafia Zaloom

SEPTEMBER 18, 2023

Durante sus 30 años de experiencia trabajando con niños y adolescentes, Shafia Zaloom ha centrado su vida en crear espacios para tratar las dificultades de los jóvenes en un diálogo abierto y ayudarlos a desarrollar los conceptos de consentimiento, respeto y seguridad como la base de sus relaciones.

Teens want to know how to have better relationships. Consent education can help.

JULY 18, 2023

“Only yes means yes, take nothing more and nothing less.”

“Your body, your choice, consent gives everyone a voice.”

Rhymes like these are often used to teach and reinforce the essential definition of consent: that all parties need to fully agree to take part in an activity or behavior. While they’re catchy and memorable — a consent-related song and dance even became a popular TikTok trend — these kinds of phrases don’t cover the full extent of what’s needed for kids to understand consent in today’s world.

Parents find supportive ways to navigate their kids' queer identities

JUNE 5, 2023

For some parents, when your child comes out to you, it can be scary -- both from recent controversies and the historical treatment of gay kids in past decades.

"I think that's the fear for us as parents, my child is going to be alone," one parent told "Good Morning America."

The Future of Sex Education in a Post-Roe America

AUGUST 2022

Researchers estimate that as many as half of pregnancies in the United States were not planned and roughly one in five pregnancies ends in an abortion. With the U.S. Supreme Court’s reversal of Roe v. Wade and the end of the federal right to an abortion, many sexual health educators and advocates are calling to enhance reproductive education – for people of all ages.

5 things you should know before you talk about consent with children

SEPTEMBER 2021

At a large family gathering when I was a kid, an adult female relative I barely knew gave me a rough hug, then yanked the neckline of my shirt out to peer down and check my breast development.

The adults present laughed. I didn't know what consent was as a tween, but I was horrified.

Let's talk about (queer) sex: The importance of LGBTQ-inclusive sex education in schools

AUGUST 2021

What's a three-letter word that prompts parents to pontificate and teens to plug their ears when their parents bring it up?

You guessed it: S-e-x.

The Conversation: Teaching About Healthy Sexuality and Relationships

FALL 2020

“The American culture too often pushes young people to disconnect, evade vulnerability, and prioritize performance,” says Shafia Zaloom, a health educator at the Urban School of San Francisco (CA). “Kids are looking for more connection and guidance.” Zaloom, who also consults with schools across the country on affirmative consent education, is on a mission to help students understand that strong, ethical boundaries of consent make the lessons of love safe and more powerful.  

How to Talk to Teenagers about Relationships: Interview with Shafia Zaloom

JULY 2020

Does your teen have a crush on someone? Not sure how to talk to them about relationships? Shafia Zaloom, health educator and author of Sex, Teens, and Everything in Between, offers specific advice about when to have these conversations and what to say.

GC: How High School Sex Ed Is Changing Post-#MeToo

MARCH 2020

In the early 1990s, in response to reports of rape on campus, a group of students at Ohio’s Antioch College gathered to write a new policy governing sexual conduct. The policy mandated ongoing verbal consent during every stage of a sexual encounter, which was highly unusual at the time—so novel that its implementation ignited an unexpected wave of national scrutiny. As some of the former students involved in the Sexual Offense Prevention Policy’s creation told The New York Times in 2018, they became a laughingstock—to critics, they were trying to take the fun and romance out of sex. In 1993, Saturday Night Live lampooned Antioch’s policy in a sketch about a game show called Is It Date Rape? that featured actors role-playing affirmative consent in a stilted, almost robotic fashion.

How do I talk to my kid about posting sexy stuff online?

NOVEMBER 2019

You know what's hard? Talking to your kid about sex and sexuality—especially as they're slowly transforming from little kids into moody, obnoxious soon-to-be teenagers. Recently, I spoke with Shafia Zaloom—health educator and author of Sex, Teens, and Everything in Between—about how to approach these conversations. We talked about how using media—from TV to Twitter—can be a great jumping-off point for discussing sex. And then we dove into a scenario I hear about often from parents of tweens who are just starting to explore on social media.

KQED: Helping Parents and Teens Talk Sex, Consent and Healthy Relationships

OCTOBER 2019

California is one of only eight states currently requiring the topic of consent to be included in sex education curriculum. For San Francisco health educator Shafia Zaloom, an education in consent is essential to protecting kids and fostering healthy interactions. In her new book "Sex, Teens, & Everything in Between," Zaloom shares stories and advice to help parents and teens navigate relationships, sex, and personal safety. We'll hear tips from Zaloom based on her more than two decades of experience and we want to hear from you: how have you talked with your teen about sex?

City Visions: Shafia Zaloom on 'Sex, Teens, & Everything in Between'

SEPTEMBER 2019

Tonight, veteran teen sex educator Shafia Zaloom and two of her students join guest host Eric Jansen for a conversation on healthy teen relationships, getting and giving consent, and preventing sexual assault.

In a culture that prioritizes performance, depersonalizes relationships, and normalizes porn, what does it mean to have "good" sex?  And, how do parents talk to their teenagers about it?

WBUR: From 'Big Mouth' To 'Pen15,' TV Is Taking On Teen Sexuality

APRIL 2019

Since its debut in 2017, the Netflix animated series Big Mouth has brought alt-comedy to middle school, allowing performers like Jenny Slate and Jordan Peele to dissect and re-enact the vicissitudes of youth. Though it could be used as a guide for teenagers, it’s become a phenomenon among adult viewers reliving the sordid days of early puberty.

OPPORTUNITY ATLAS: How to Teach Boys Sexual Ethics

OCTOBER 2018

The testimony of Dr. Christine Blasey Ford and Supreme Court nominee Judge Kavanaugh has called into question our country's handling of sexual assault allegations. We'll discuss about how parents can talk to their sons about sexual assault, and how they can be allies against it. Also, we learn about a new interactive online tool that could help kids in unserved areas get more opportunities. 

EDUCATION WEEK: Teaching Comprehensive Sex Education, From Kindergarten Through High School

AUGUST 2018

"This subject has taken on added significance in the wake of the #MeToo movement, which has some states and school districts rethinking their curriculum, debating whether to add instruction on sexual harassment, preventing violence and ensuring consent."

"I think it really highlighted for people how important it is, and it's not just sex information," she says, "but how you apply that information to the complexities of human relationships." 

EDUCATION WEEK: Teaching sex education to teens in the #MeToo era?

JULY 2018

"Teaching sex education to teens in the #MeToo era? Tonight @NewsHour @educationweek @SIECUS - here's educator Shafia Zaloom" - Lisa Stark

PBS: Sex ed: Some schools are rethinking sex ed with lessons on consent

JULY 2018

"The changing culture around sexual harassment and the #MeToo movement has some states and school districts rethinking their sex ed curriculum to include healthy relationships, preventing violence and ensuring consent. Special correspondent Lisa Stark of Education Week visits a Washington, D.C., school that is committed to comprehensive sexuality education."

USA TODAY: Sex ed: Many parents wouldn't recognize it today — and #metoo may change it even more

MARCH 2018

'"Benjamin Miller, a junior at the Urban School, took Zaloom's course his freshman and sophomore years, after receiving sex ed in middle school that focused largely on biology. He wasn't expecting much more, but was proven wrong, he said.

"I learned the overall importance of communication in relationships, because it seems like no what matter what sex problems people have ... it seems like one of the main things that's always lacking is communication, and one of the things that's always present in a healthy relationship is communication," he said. "And that's both during sex, but also in your daily life."

KQED: How to Teach Teens About Love, Consent and Emotional Intelligence

FEBRUARY 2018

"One 15-year-old girl who took Zaloom’s class said the course gave her communication tools and helped her establish her own moral compass.

“Knowing my priorities and values before going into situations taught me how to interact with people,” she said. “Not just a value for relationships ... life in general. It’s really applicable to everyday life and how I can go through life with an open mind and always willing to hear from other people.”'

NPR: Lessons in Love For Generation Snapchat

NOVEMBER 2017

"Another school that's trying to answer the call is The Urban school, a private high school in San Francisco. Health teacher Shafia Zaloom says she too was alarmed by teens' social struggles and their belief that they "can build relationships over Snapchat or Instagram." So she started a kind of "Dating 101" curriculum that covers things as basic as how to ask someone out. In one recent class, students brainstormed out loud."

THE WASHINGTON POST: Maryland weighs teaching ‘yes means yes’ as part of sex ed

FEBRUARY 2017

“A lot of people push back and say, ‘This is so awkward,’ ” said Shafia Zaloom, who teaches human sexuality at the Urban School of San Francisco and has created an affirmative-consent curriculum for other schools to use.

THE WEEK: How To Talk To Your Kids About Sex 

JUNE 2016

"Parents need to be talking to kids comprehensively about sex in general,"says Shafia Zaloom, teacher and noted sex education expert. "Not just about the mechanics of sexuality, but how to treat people. How to take care of themselves. How to have healthy, happy, and rich relationships throughout their lives."

CONNECTIONS.MIC: The Key to Curbing Campus Sexual Assault Lies in High School Health Class

APRIL 2016

"Zaloom's classes don't just teach the basics of sex ed - reproductive anatomy, menstruation, STIs - but address the questions and experiences teens face on a day-to-day basis. Rather than lecture, she encourages students to speak frankly about sexual identity, hook-up culture, and healthy relationships."

KLAW City Visions: Exploring changes to sex education in California

NOVEMBER 2015

"November 9, 2015. In October Governor Brown signed two laws making changes to California's requirements for sex education in high schools. Join our conversation about what sex ed should look like and where it should happen."

THE NEW YORK TIMES: Sex Ed Lesson: ‘Yes Means Yes,’ but It’s Tricky

OCTOBER 2015

"Consent from the person you are kissing - or more - is not merely silence or a lack of protest, Shafia Zaloom, a health educator at the Urban School of San Francisco, told the students. They listened raptly, but several did not disguise how puzzled they felt."

TODAY: ‘Yes means yes’ law spotlights consent in sex ed classes

OCTOBER 2015

“Affirmative consent” – the idea that a partner must give explicit permission before a sexual encounter can move forward – will now be a mandatory lesson in health classes across California. It’s part of the nationwide effort to stem sexual assaults among young people. TODAY’s Erica Hill reports."