Articles
Tools for Teens to Call Out Sexual Violence
I was making lunch when my 17-year-old son sat down at the kitchen table. “Hey Mom, is this real?” he asked, and showed me an Instagram post that read: “97% of young women have experienced sexual harassment. If you are surprised, then you’re probably not listening.”
Kids Are Watching Pornography. Here’s How to Talk About It
All kinds of kids come across porn, and some routinely seek it out, younger than parents might expect. Beware of thinking “not my child.” In my experience as a sex education teacher and national consultant on relationships and consent, I talk about sex with lots of kids. It’s a rare teen who hasn’t seen sexually explicit media — for some, even before having a first kiss…
Black teens talk about dating in White communities
Sometimes, while scrolling through Tinder, Latte Hutchinson, 19, a Black woman from Oakland, Calif., comes across messages from potential mates that show “it’s more of a fetish than an authentic interest.” She’s learned to ignore these comments and move on.
Jaydon Acquino, 18, a Black man who moved from outside of Indianapolis to San Francisco, says that when he started high school, the White guys said, “You could get almost any girl because you’re the new Black guy.” The guys joked about “snow bunnies,” White girls who are into Black guys, he says.
How Students Can Create Safe Covid Boundaries, How Parents Can Help
This fall, when we dropped our daughter off to begin her freshman year I was confident that when it comes to sexual consent, she understood how to advocate for herself. As a healthy sexuality educator, that was something I made sure of over the course of many (my daughter might say too many) conversations throughout middle and high school.
Why 'Think of a Bear' Is the Best Way to Teach Teens About Sex and Consent Right Now
Be prepared to answer their questions about post-lockdown intimacy etiquette.
As shelter in place mandates lift and we start to experience community again in physical ways, even adults have questions about boundaries. Do we offer a handshake? An elbow bump? Can we hug friends?
Six Ways Teachers and Parents Can Help Their Teens Cope
I’m a high school health teacher, and since San Francisco’s shelter-in-place order went into effect, I’ve been conducting Zoom classes with my students–entering their homes every day through a computer screen. Teaching and learning in a virtual classroom are a very different experience for all of us, so is spending all of our time at home suddenly and completely cut off from friends, peers, and even casual but comforting interactions with acquaintances and complete strangers.
Sexting, Consent and the Quaranteen’
Guidance for parents on talking to teens about consent while on lockdown. Hint: Use French fries as an example. With most of America sheltering in place, it’s no surprise that many people are exploring ways to deal with their pent-up sex drives — teenagers included.
How Parents Can Talk With Their Teens About Sex and Consent
Exploring sexuality with others can be scary, confusing, and thrilling, and digital devices make every interaction more consequential. Consent must be given in person, during sexual activity, and whenever a new form of sexual activity is initiated. Many young people communicate and establish relationships through technology. This may provide a false sense of knowing someone, intimacy, or readiness to engage in a sexual relationship.
Teaching Consent
It can be difficult starting conversations with your students about sexual harassment, consent, staying safe and making value informed decisions. Recently I read Shafia Zaloom‘s wonderful book “Sex, Teens & Everything in Between” and was blown away not only by how accessible it was, but more specifically the engaging, and teen-friendly way in which she shared her message, specifically her use of real-life scenarios.
“HEY, WYD?”: INSIDE TEEN SEXTING
THE CONTEXT:
Today, most adolescent girls are steeped in a culture that hyper-sexualizes bodies, glamorizes hooking up without emotional connection, and encourages casual relations and relationship building through digital devices. It’s tough to make good choices in an atmosphere that normalizes unwitting objectification and veils misogyny with humor. As parents and caretakers, if we’re not talking to our kids about sex, we’re the only ones not talking to our kids about sex.
Healthy Sexuality Education
I became the “consent lady” by default. A health educator for 25 years, I value all aspects of wellness–sex education included. While developing the Health program at the Urban School in San Francisco, my colleague and fellow health education teacher, Jenn, and I were both juggling parenting commitments and child care, and trying to create a schedule that worked for both of us. We divided up our classes and, almost by chance, my teaching focus became healthy sexuality and personal integrity for sophomores.
Think of a Bear: Talking with Adolescents About Relationships
When talking about sexuality with adolescents, it's often easier to get the message across when you take the sex out of it. This is counterintuitive, I know. So here’s a story, a classroom activity and some examples of classroom discussions with my class that explain the concept.
The engagement youth demonstrate in these interactions tells us they are looking for honest, real-life information; they are thinking about these kinds of issues all the time; and they are eager to learn how to navigate the unique challenges facing their generational cohort.
Adolescent Sexual Relationships: The Importance of Consent
The Scenario
Kai is at a small party at a friend’s house. There is drinking. Some of the teenagers, including Jordan, who Kai has a crush on, are smoking weed as well. Last week, Kai’s friend, Maria, told Jordan that Kai is interested in something “more than friends” and the feeling seems to be mutual. Kai and Jordan talk, laugh, and hang out. Pretty soon the rest of their friends move on to the kitchen to find something to eat. Kai and Jordan are alone in the TV room and Jordan makes a move. They kiss and make out for a while. It feels great for both of them. Jordan’s hands start to explore Kai’s body and then to the button on Kai’s jeans. Kai starts to feel a little awkward, and moves so that Jordan can’t undo the jeans. Jordan moves Kai’s body back to how it was and whispers, “Don’t worry, we’ll take it easy.”